The holidays are here and unfortunately that does not always mean joy to the world. For some, this time of year is hard in many aspects, financially, physically (hello my hairstylist friends) and emotionally.
These extra stressors make it a little more difficult for us to be our best selves, and if this is where you find yourself, it may make your emotional triggers more easily pressed and that can lead to more stress in your relationships.
Now let’s pile on the stress of a new COVID variant, unusually slow shipping, lack of supplies in stores and impending lock downs, it’s just A LOT!
I believe we all want less stress in our lives right now and we all deserve a peaceful holiday season so I wanted to create a list of reminders (because we all know this stuff) on how we can create more peace, love and joy this year, even with the world as it is:
1) Choose what you focus on.
Most of what is happening in the world is out of our control so in times like this it’s best to focus on what we can control. The biggest factor we have under our control is what we choose to focus on, whether we take the proverbial perspective of “the glass being half empty or half full”, we can justify either argument but ask yourself which one is more helpful for your overall well-being and the well-being of those you will be spending time with? I will choose the optimist any day over the never-ending “nit picker”.
Both having a positive outlook and a negative outlook have domino effects as well. How do you imagine the behaviour changes from the person who chooses to look at the situation from a perspective of acceptance vs that of someone who sees only the disappointment? We all recognize that we are not our best selves when we are feeling low but what we don’t always recognize is that, so very often, we cause our own misery just by what we choose to focus on.
I want to add here that we all feel disappointment and sadness from time to time, it’s normal and a part of the human experience, so if this happens to you during the holiday season, it’s ok! Just do your best to remember what you want as an end result of your holidays and take the next best action to get back on track.
2) Which brings me to the next tip; Set an Intention.
For example, If you want to have a peaceful holiday season, then set that intention each morning. Before you get out of bed, imagine the segments of your day going peacefully and with ease. Picture sharing joy and laughter with your loved ones, visualize your tasks being accomplished effortlessly, basically, whatever you have to do that day, take the time to imagine it going well and you feeling good about it.
Not only will this help you start your day with positive anticipation and a smile but it will also help you acheive what you envision, athletes do this all of the time to help improve their game. Neuroscience shows that our brains don’t know the difference between what we imagine and what is real so the more positive mental images we create, the more our brain expects and will be trained to look for them.
On top of that, if you were to set an intention to have peace, as an example, you would then do your best to create it and your actions would reflect it. When the family member who seems to know exactly what buttons to press starts in with their poking, it will be much more difficult to get a rise out of you when you have peace on the brain. And if they do succeed, it will be short lived because all you have to do is remember you have a choice of behaviour and you choose behaving peacefully.
Setting intentions is a next level skill that we all have at our disposal and yet most don’t utilize. It has the potential to change our lives dramatically. Why not try to work this muscle as an experiment for the rest of 2021 and see it’s power for yourself?
3) Stay in your lane.
Comparison and FOMO (fear of missing out) are a huge energy sucker that can derail our lives at any point but especially during the holidays. As we scroll through social media taking in the snippets of joy others choose to highlight, it’s easy to assume they’re having a better time than us. Or maybe this year the FOMO will arise from looking back on holiday seasons past and feeling disappointment or grief from what we wont be experiencing this year, like big family gatherings or robust New Years celebrations.
It’s ok to have these sad moments, feel the emotions fully, and as soon as possible ask yourself a simple but powerful question;
”What’s good right now?”
If that’s not working try;
”what could be good about this moment if I chose to focus on it?”
Our brains are solution-finding machines and whatever question you ask, it will do its best to find an answer. Questioning skills are another super power that, when utilized, can be life-changing.
Put the focus back on your life and the positive aspects of it, because no matter what your situation, there are good things happening, I promise, sometimes it just takes a little more digging to uncover them 😘
By setting an intention, choosing what you focus on, and staying clear on making the most of your holidays (instead of vicariously living through others via social media) you will be setting yourself up to have the BEST HOLIDAY SEASON…possible, given the current circumstances. And isn’t that the best we can ask for?
These three items are a very simple concept, basic knowledge even, but there’s a difference between knowledge and action and when they are put into action…🤯 they can change the world we live in.
So if you’re in for making a game of it with me and trying these concepts on for the holidays, comment below and let me know you’re in.
I wish you and yours the most joyful holiday season possible 😘
🤍 your coach